I can twitter with celebrities. Facebook grammar school friends. Network. Network. Network. Social media has made staying in touch with people a snap, granting access to those we wouldn’t otherwise have access to.

So what’s the problem?

As much as I enjoy the hilarious links Ashton Kutcher serves up, keeping up with the @Joneses is not all that easy. It’s like dirty laundry. There’s just no end.

To visualize my point, here are some sample to-do lists. The first is what I call a BSM (Before Social Media) to-do list:

And the second is, of course, an ASM (After Social Media) list:

The thing is, the after list doesn’t magically make the before to-dos go away. So maybe I can tweet out if anyone has a casserole recipe they’d recommend, but nobody can water my plants for me (as my wilted plants would hope.)

And all the incessant communication is so distracting that it can make it harder to get “real” things done. But I’d argue that it’s the mundane “real” things like grocery shopping and school activities that make social media interactions so much more interesting. So don’t ignore your BSM to-dos in favor of your ASM ones. At least, not all the time. Because sometimes you have to do the dishes. Other times, it’s best to ignore the crusty casserole pan in the sink.

A frankenword is a term cobbled together from pieces of other words. It’s proper grammar with a side order mad scientist. The best ones are not only easy to pronounce, but also they evoke meaning from the word or word parts they blend. (Spork! Chrismukkah!) Here’s one I recently learned courtesy of People Magazine:

Mantrum

(n) A grown man’s fit when he can’t have his way.

Mantrum alert! Jon Gosselin storms out of Entertainment Tonight interview.

The “math” behind memorable frankenwords is pretty simple: Spoon + Fork = Spork or Man + Tantrum = Mantrum. While the majority put your spellchecker on overdrive, as they aren’t “real” words, Beyonce actually got bootylicious recognized by the dictionary.

Popular culture isn’t the only place you’ll find frankenwords. Check out the Internet. There’s “favicon” which is short for “favorites icon,” which the doohickey icon to the left of a URL. (Now you know.) There’s also “minisite”  which (obviously) is a “mini website.”

The advertising industry is also rife with them. Take VW’s “turbonium.” It was created to convey speed as if it were an element from the Periodic Table. Or Yoplait’s “Go-gurt” line to convey grab and go yogurt.

So how do I feel about frankenwords? A little mixed. While I commend their economy of words, and the grammar nerd in me enjoys creating them, I do think they can go wrong. Very wrong. And not just from overuse.

Take T.J.Maxx and Target. Almost simultaneously they launched “Maxxinistas” and “Frugalistas,” respectively. While I know both are trying to elevate the idea that great fashion doesn’t have to mean high cost, Maxxinista doesn’t make a lot of sense without context. “Maxx” with an extra X doesn’t inherently say “T.J.Maxx” to me. On the other hand, Frugalista is a nicer, more meaningful way of saying “I spend less on looking fabulous.” And it’s easier to spell to boot.

So at the end of the day, frankenword is still my favorite frankenword. Maybe someday a new term will get cobbled together, rise up and throw my love of it in the lake. But for now, I’ll be standing by, defending it with my pitchfork.

Like most relationships, this one started with an introduction. “Are you on Facebook?” my boss said, “You should be. It’s really interesting.”

After adding some basic information and passable profile picture, I had signed up.

So I “friended” friends and family. I “friended” coworkers. I “friended” ex-coworkers. I checked out who were “friends” with my friends, family, coworkers and ex-coworkers. I played the online versions of classic board games with strangers. Wow, I thought. This is kind of fun. I might even get used to using “friend” as a verb.

I’ve found I like to share (or, um, overshare) bits about myself. In return, I’m rewarded with bits about the people.

Newsfeed-hogging mafia games aside, I think social networking is great. Personal exchanges that could have lead to a 30-minute phone magically turn into a ten-second read and an opportunity to comment. It’s multitasking with a side order of voyeurism. And it’s my friend. (What do you know? “Friend” can still be a noun.)