Hello. I'm Lisa Taylor, an integrated copywriter of all sorts of stuff. Except vanity license plates. I just don't get the appeal.


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10 Tips for Wrapping Good Presents Really Badly

The thought definitely matters. The presentation? Well, that’s up for grabs. So I’ve created 10 tips for wrapping those perfectly thoughtful presents a little less than perfectly. Okay, okay a lot less:

1. Don’t buy enough wrapping paper

Nothing says Merry Christmas like neon Happy Birthday paper. This will lead into a natural discussion of the birth of Christ and the reason Christmas exists in the first place. It’ll be like you planned it. Almost.

Because I live in fear of this scenario, I have the reverse problem:

2. Don’t buy enough “Santa” paper

Santa’s favorite method of wrapping is a stocking. He fills it with small items curated by elves and calls it a night. If Santa also chooses to use wrapping paper on larger gifts in your house, be sure to he’s stocked up. A half wrapped sled is sadder than a sled wrapped in its entirety.

 

3. Don’t buy enough gift-wrap tape

See #4.

 

4. If it has adhesive on one side, consider it gift-wrap tape

This includes masking, duct, packaging, painter’s, medical and athletic varieties as they can all get the job done. Band-Aids work too, but if you have to resort to them you’ve reached a new low, friends.

 

5. Accidentally purchase reusable adhesive tape

You’ve got more than enough tape. Hooray! However, you discover at 10:30pm on Christmas Eve that what looks like normal gift-wrap tape is actually the repositionable kind with Sticky Note-style adhesive. Turns out Sticky Notes aren’t all that sticky. This will not end well.

 

6. Find those adorably festive gift tags December 26th

But you’ll so totally use them next year!

 

7. Spill alcohol on a present

You only need to rewrap if it absorbs before you wipe it off.

 

8. Bleed on a present

Wrapping paper cuts sting. However, wounds from its cardboard tube gouge far deeper. Good thing you have Band-Aids.

 

9. Hide at least one present so well you lose it completely

With any luck, it’ll turn up right before a birthday.

 

10. Don’t wrap Santa’s presents until the last possible minute

Late night fatigue leads to impatience which leads to gifts getting wrapped progressively worse. The plus side? Leaving Santa’s for last means there’s someone other than you to take the heat.

In the end, it doesn’t matter whether your presents look like they have been wrapped by magical Pinterest elves or angry trolls. The most important thing is a room full of smiles on Christmas morning.


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